Pfft! I am a fool. Really, I am. I had really convinced myself that the worst was over. I was like, “Yeah, hubby’s healing”…..yada yada yada, “Hopefully things will get back to normal soon.” Blah, blah, blah! I fooled myself good! Bet I didn’t fool you. You all knew about the sinkholes I was about to fall into, didn’t you!? Well, why on God’s green Earth didn’t someone warn me?
I would’ve liked to know ahead of time about the dibilatating memory loss, the blindsiding mood swings, the deep sense of helplessness and the crushing anger!
It’s so hard….so very hard on everyone. No, this isn’t a selfish, (ME-ME-ME!) post. Well, not all of it. I see it taking a toll on him. He’s always so angry. Angry about what he can no longer do, and how he thinks it makes me feel. It doesn’t take much to set him off, or any of us for that matter. I feel like I’m constantly at bat, swinging at everyone’s issues. There’s no time outs and I continue to strike out. I try to be the peacekeeper, but what happens when the peacekeeper isn’t peaceful?
Chaos!! That’s what.
There’s a reason I haven’t written in so long….
Life currently sucks!
Truthfully, I’m only writing now because I can’t sleep and I’m officially sick of t.v. I have come to realize that no one really wants to hear about your poor, sad life…that is of course, unless they want to spread the news around like the plague. Then, everyone you see after that, are both feeling sorry for you and mocking you at the same time.
So yes, I’ve been incommunicado.
To my fans, haters and creepy stalkers, please forgive me. You deserve so much more than this. I shall proceed to take my happy pills and start over.